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AsphaltTears's Journal


AsphaltTears's Journal

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45 entries this month
 

The demolition crew

00:42 Jul 31 2009
Times Read: 892


I have these two grandsons. Cute as can be but of course I think so. Can you imagine two children not quite two and a half pulling a giant tv off a stand and I mean a pretty big one. Not those flat ones they make now but that's what we plan to get so we can mount it on the wall up HIGH. The two of them pulled a heavy tv I cannot even lift off of a fairly high tv stand in their bedroom and it dropped four or five feet to land on the front face of it. I pulled it up and it was green in the center and red in the corners and it would no longer play their DVDs. The DVD player wasn't pulled down.



I could set it upright but not move it even by scooting. It is pretty large. A few hours later we hooked up another DVD player to it because we couldn't find the remote to the other and voila...I COULDN'T BELIEVE IT! The tv worked like nothing had happened to it. I mean that tv went crash but the screen did not break even though it fell face down...amazing. They looked at me when I came running because I had been in the restroom at the time, and started to cry...they were in trouble. Not really I knew it scared them and I was happy they weren't hurt in any way. I think they jumped back when it started falling. It wasn't on one of those low tv carts. It was on one that is fairly high up. We moved it up onto a dresser now. They are into everything. I didn't remember terrible twos to be so terrible, lol...


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00:30 Jul 31 2009
Times Read: 893


Even though people are highstrung in my family it does no good for everyone to be critiqueing meltdowns here. Some times people need to blow off steam. I majored in psychology and yes some people dwell in the woes mes but most come up out of it if you just give them time. Being ciritical of others just doesn't help. I have an outburst at the time something happens and it may look like I am going on and on but if bombarded it looks that way but I get over things. The journals are like our diaries and sometimes there are fun things in them and other times there aren't. All I have to say is I don't care what people write, whether it's upbeat or the blues. I feel they have the right to express how they feel but what they must remember is, you take a big chance if you name actual people's ID or real name in your journal to be angry with and call them any kind of derogatory term. Say this lady did this or this guy did that but leave out the personalities because someone sooner or later will run into legal problems doing this. It is not free speech when you single out something specific rather than when you speak globally of say women or men in general, things like that. We all get mad, and we all have different personalities here and its really not something someone can go on about. I have seen all sorts of people even some going on about drama that have had something irksome in the journals at times and maybe now they are deleted. Just let people be human. Humans are not perfect. I get mad, others get mad, so what. I don't think we have cyber guns but paint guns would be fun, lol.



The next posting is what I want to talk about.


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The quote

03:33 Jul 30 2009
Times Read: 913


This is the person I quoted from. I and other writers have thought this person a woman for some reason. I think it was something I had read, don't know why, lol...but it's a man. Here is a short on him.



The Reverend Sabine Baring-Gould (28 January 1834 – 2 January 1924) was an English hagiographer, antiquarian, novelist and eclectic scholar. His bibliography lists more than 1240 separate publications, though this list continues to grow. His family home, Lew Trenchard Manor near Okehampton, Devon, has been preserved as he rebuilt it and is now a hotel. He is remembered particularly as a writer of hymns, the best-known being "Onward, Christian Soldiers" and "Now the Day Is Over". He also translated the carol "Gabriel's Message" from Basque to English. He habitually wrote standing up, and his desk can be seen in the manor.



Baring-Gould wrote many novels (including Mehalah), a collection of ghost stories, a 16-volume The Lives of the Saints, and the biography of the eccentric poet-vicar of Morwenstow, Robert Stephen Hawker. His folkloric studies resulted in The Book of Were-Wolves (1865), one of the most frequently cited studies of lycanthropy.



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More that Vantor said.

01:46 Jul 30 2009
Times Read: 918


Vantor also went by Domn-al Vantor.



We were discussing Vlad here which is not one of my favorite topics because it has nothing to do with vampyrism.



Correct! He was Romanian, and he was born in Sighisoara a large city in Transilvania. Transilvania being one of the three states which made up the Romanian kingdom run by the Basarab family. After all, Viovode is a Romanian tem elected prince to the court of the king, like military govenor, but Vlad was Printul meaning Crown Prince, viovode being a lesser prince for whom he is often mistaken.



Domn-al aslo means King like Rege both Romanian terms Rege is from the later, latin and Domn-al is from the cross between Dacian and Roman terms for God like.



such as:



Vlad III, Domn-al Tarii Romanesti intre 1448-1476



and,



Vladislav Dracula Basarab III,



Printul Vlad Tepes-Dracula trebuie sa ramâna în memoria istoriei ceea ce a fost pentru poporul sau: un simbol al justitiei, exponent prin excelenta al



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Something my Mentor wrote

18:42 Jul 29 2009
Times Read: 935


I have permission to post this wherever I like. She writes some good common sense articles. She has a lengthy copyright statement so it's best to adhere to what she says about it, lol...she has a long arm. I never post it without including that part. It is part of the agreement for posting it.





The Enlightened Path

Evolution



Written by: Lady Adriana







The Path



“The path of Enlightenment is the true key to your Evolution”



Most people go throughout each day never realizing what path they are on. Why is this? The answer to this question can be very complex and difficult for most people to answer correctly. This happens especially when they fall prey for all the logical answers that modern day society would have them say. This does not at all answer the question, does it? No, it does not. The real answer to the question of why, is most let their day-to-day life be ruled by work, school, or what they do afterwards. The common associations that society brings to them daily tends to divert most away from the subtle hints that they really should be paying attention to. Those subtle hints, once noticed, can give a glimpse of “The Enlightened Path” before them and also to the “Evolving Essence” each has within.



Upon discovering that there is a path to be followed, many will look towards science, religion, philosophy, or the likes to help guide them towards something. This is in hopes that it will reveal “the hidden path” that they more than likely do not see as of yet. Yes, there is many ways one can find “The Path”, but not all will be understood if that person can’t “think outside the box” that has been put around them for so many years beforehand. The direction you go with at first should be something that will hold your attention that you can learn from mentally, physically, and spiritually. Don’t make the mistake of choosing something that is too far fetched for your current level of knowledge and expertise as so many do. Choosing wrongly or haphazardly will add to your daily stress factor and can be self-defeating in the end if not well thought out. Choose wisely the doorway, and remember this should be a stress-relieving endeavor as well.



The true meaning of “Following The Enlightened Path” will be eventually revealed to you if your choices have been made wisely, so take your time and don’t rush things. If at some point you start noticing your getting frustrated and want to see immediate progress or get anxious for answers, you should step back for a moment and think, “Did I miss something along the way that I needed to learn or learn better?” or “Is this frustration a test of my endurance and faith of my own choices?” Sometime people get to this “Frustrated” point when they feel held back by something or someone without seeing that each situation that crosses their path is there for a reason. The real reason for this type of frustration occurrence may not at all be obvious even when it is supposedly printed in “black and white”.



This is because the subtle lessons within each “bump in the road”, even those that are self-created, may include some “Off the Beaten Path” lessons that will actually enhance you’re (or someone else’s) overall understanding of where you are on the path and where you are going. Look at these things as a treasure hunt of knowledge along the way. I personally like to state:



“The Path least walked holds the greatest of treasures”



Sometimes a little backtracking for progress sake, even if it doesn’t look that way at first, can actually bring bigger and better things for your future. You never know one day you may just look back at the situation and say, “I just figured out why I had to go through that then, because I wouldn’t be where I am now”. Life is filled with many adventures and some of the simplest ones can be the most profound.







The Foundation



“Make your Foundation of Concrete, not Mud”



Society as a whole leaves little room for things that are not of a physical nature, which is very unfortunate for those that are burdened heavily by stress, money, and survival. These physical needs, by in large, tend to take precedence of ones time, unless a person is able to look beyond it all and not let it rule them. By putting your physical needs in order and lessening any stress coming from it, will help you remove the veil of clouds that have prevented you from seeing the path. There is indeed ways to balance the physical out, for each person it will be different, but by starting there you should notice a remarkable difference from one day to the next as you do this. Look at each problem, stress, anger, and anxiety as the built up unresolved issues of your “past” that need to be put behind you somehow. Resolve each issue one by one and see that you are now in the “present” leaving that past mental and physical state of “instability” behind.



One way to ponder this “Removing Instability” and the equation of “Creating a Foundation of Stable Ground” is to start “clearing new ground for better things”. See any changes you make with yourself or your surroundings as you are pouring a stronger foundation to build on in the future. This “Foundation”, even if it is strictly a mental state in the beginning, will aid you with everything you do later on. “Stability” is the key to any strong foundation, as you can see on the physical level of some building techniques used today. Within the foundation of your “new self” you should have anchors, corner stones, concrete, and building blocks. All of this poured upon and set in the newly cleared grounds of your life.



Emotions you will find will play the biggest part of beginning this newer outlook on life and can hold you back if you don’t face each wisely. Fear, anger, hate, ego, and pride are but a few of the emotions that can and do stand in the way of most people’s progress.



Emotions, used unwisely, can not only harm your progress but other people’s as well. Misinterpretations of emotions, even with self, are a common cause of why some reactions are so harsh. One must also remember many emotional reactions you may see coming from yourself, or others, may be the cover or protective emotional result of another hidden emotional aspect. If left unchecked or hidden for too long the original emotion can surface abruptly in an explosive manner. Fear is one that has a nasty habit of reeking havoc on many people, but isn’t the only one that can cause an explosive outburst at a moments notice. Realization of all your hidden fears, angers, hates, prejudices, inadequacies, and any self exploiting ego problems can help you get to the bottom of what makes you “tick”, or in the case of an “explosive emotional nature” what makes you “go off”. Some of these emotions can be very deep rooted in one’s childhood and upbringing. It may take many hours, days, months, or even years of pondered thought and meditation to face straightforward or clearly those deep-rooted emotions, be patient and face each safely.



Note: In extreme cases medication and/or psychiatric assistance may be called for if it is too difficult to sort out by yourself, so don’t fear seeking help if you need it.



There are various ways you can go about this exploration of your “Emotional Self”. One way is to study a little bit of psychology to help your self-understanding. You may find this beneficial, but not all people do. Some choose to simply start meditating and learn to “Master” their emotions through conscious intervention of a calm mind; others resort to hypnosis or Shamanic traditions for assistance. What ever direction you go is your choice, just remember the idea is to get to the root of what is causing you to stand in your own way and stabilize the foundation you want to build from. As a note fear harbors and caters to ignorance so don’t let yourself be held back like countless people do by running from it.



“Creating a Stable Foundation” can have physical aspects in your life as well; so let’s not forget about that portion of the groundwork too.



Create for yourself something so stable that even if you find yourself in a situation of financial distress that you will be able to endure somehow until the problem is resolved. Currency unfortunately is what the world revolves around right now and gets most of our bills, transportation, housing, etc. paid for. Yes, money is not the “end all, be all” that most people think it is needless to say, but we have to put up with it anyway. Most individuals now a days, especially those that are brought up in large cities doing the 9 to 5 work routine their whole life, generation after generation, wouldn’t have the slightest idea on how to survive without it. Yes you can survive with little to no money, if you know how, however the modern day version of this is much more limited than it use to be in the past.



Some may recall that not so far past, when people use to obtain their needs via the barter and trade system. This system was perfect for those that had skills or knew how to farm. Almost everything that they needed or wanted could be found either in the open market place or just down the street by trading with someone in the nearby area. Mind you it is getting increasingly difficult to do this today for all needs, but the trading of goods and services is still done in many places that allow open air marketing and trade. If you do decide to go this direction to help your situation, be inventive and try putting to use some of your own hands on abilities, skills, and hobbies. You may learn a valuable lesson in doing so that will stick with you the remainder of your life. It is because of this lesson; you could find a certain enjoyment out of it that may be refreshing for you, even without an obvious need to do so in the future if all goes well with your previous choices.



After you tackle everything that causes instability in your life and you start having a good foundation, build on it and build well. If you are wise, anything you add to your foundation will be just as strong as the foundation itself.



"Bis vincit qui se vincit in victoria"

"He conquers twice who in the hour of conquest conquers himself." (Syrus)





The Mold



“Each of us is an unfilled mold on a trek of fulfillment”



Look at every part of your being as being a mold that was already made to perfection. In turn that mold would have been created at the beginning of time to reflect all of the possibilities of whom and what you are in your highest form. The mold, being perfect, is not what you are as of yet, but what you are striving to be in a fully enlightened state. It is your given task to be the clay of your own “Becoming” by doing your best to fill this perfect mold each lifetime. Your personality, every thing that you do, what you are right now, and in the future dictates how well the mold is filled at any given time.



Each lifetime you are given this task and the same chance to fulfill that “Becoming” but you will have to surpass and correct any flaws that are created along the way. By looking within and picturing in your “Mind’s Eye” the end result of this task being completed you can start reverse engineering your “Self” and all that you are. Break it down and ask, what makes this “Perfect Being” so perfect? Is it how intricate it is? No, it is how simple it is. Is it what it is made of? No, it is how it’s arranged. Is it its shape and curves? No, it is its form as a whole, within and with out. The outer “Projections” and “Streams of Light” of this “Perfect Being” are indeed connected and part of “All that this Perfect Being Is”.





Out of the Darkness and Into the Light



“Can you see it?”



Be not lost. Clear the fog of your physical reality and any problems you have. Build your strong and stable foundation so even through the winds of change you shall endure. See the “Mold” you are to fill and fill it well along your path. See the “Prefect Being” that has once traversed the “Path of Enlightenment” to “Become Perfect” in all ways that it “IS”.



“Can you see it?”





“To Exist, To Know, To See, To Become, and then To Be”



May the 5th Cycle of Life Serve You Well





Best Blessings to All,

Lady Adriana (Rev. King)





© 2007 Lady Adriana (Rev. King) All Copyrights reserved to original Author. Do not copy, change, or alter without written permission from the Author first. Do not reprint and/or retransmit unless in entirety with copyright statement and credit to the original author attached. Any copying, changes, alterations, reprints, and/or retransmits without copyright statement and credit to original author attached will be consider a copyright infringement and punishable by law.



Author Contact: LadyAdriana@templeoflostsouls.org


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This lady is out of Las Vegas

18:23 Jul 29 2009
Times Read: 936


Welcome this evening Lady Night! Lady Night is Sixth Chair Elder of the Vampire Nation . Among her many duties is First Chair of Donateurs, which is the sub-sector Council for donors. She is Division Head of the Library in Keepers of Legends and Lore. Also she is the Elder Advisor for our Judge Magistrates sub-sector Council and writes many of the documents we routinely use in the VN. Quite often she fills in for the Commonwealth Liaison position and posts the memos concerning Elder Council activities after meetings to keep the Commonwealth updated.



Actually Lady Night’s sign name in yahoo is Night Eidolon. Before we go further would you please enlighten us as to why you chose this ID and if it has any significant meaning?



I chose that name years ago. Eidolon is like a phantom or apparition; an image, something like a spirit image. It seemed to fit at the time I chose it. I really don’t have any other explanation for it other than I came up with it and it just seemed to fit.



Thank you. That’s very interesting!



Could you tell us a little about where you grew up and things you did and experienced in your youth?



I grew up in Chicago and spent the majority of my life there. I moved out to Las Vegas about three and a half years ago, give or take. As far as getting involved in the Communities, the occult or paganism that happened because I was raised Roman Catholic and had an issue with it. My actual remembrance of getting into Paganism was when I was around ten years old. Around ten I remember my parents had bought me my first Oui Ja board and that is what started everything. I had been able to see and communicate with spirits since I was little and had never made the connection that they were spirits and not people. To me they were my invisible friends. I made the connection when I got the board and it started making more sense to me. I realized they were actually from another realm. I looked further into Paganism and studying other religions and such. That’s how it all started for me. How I got into Paganism and the Occult. and where the beliefs started. Even though I was involved and studying the occult and paganism and such vampirism didn't actually enter the picture until a couple years later at about 12 at least consciously.



What have you studied in Paganism and the Occult? Did you have any special interests?



The first thing I looked into was Wicca but that didn’t last long as I wasn’t too big on ceremonies. I ended up leaving that and going more toward a lot of the chaosmagic. I’m very eclectic when it comes to magick and beliefs. I follow an Egyptian pantheon, Roman, and miscellaneous deities from miscellaneous. pantheons. like The Morrigan which is among others, elven/Tuatha De Denan.



How did these interests affect your life growing up in as far as making friends and being accepted amongst your peers?



For the most part it wasn’t an easy thing. I always found a few people that sort of accepted it. If they didn’t they just sort of let it go. It wasn’t a big deal. There were very few that actually practiced these things. When I got older in my later teens about 17, I then got involved with a coven. It wasn’t something I advertised, as it wasn’t widely accepted at the time.



After High School did you pursue any higher education?



Yes, Actually I have an Associate degree in Science and Accounting, and a Bachelors degree in Psychology. I am currently working on my Masters in Psychology in Mental Health Counseling.



You mentioned magick earlier. What types of magick were you interested in and do you use godforms and things of that nature?



Actually magick is a big part of what I practice. I use many, many forms and types.

I do use chaosmagic, and candle magic, etc. I work with all the different spirit realms. I do invocations and evocations, and deity summoning. I don’t use herbs that much but I do use oils and that sort of thing. I do various forms of divination. A lot of it is that I don’t use any pre-written spells or rituals. Most is impromptu or created by myself. I use it on a daily basis. Depends on how you look at it. Even meditation can be a form of magick. I do regressions and things like that as well.



When did you realize you were a vampyre?



That was probably around 12 years old. I started really believing there was something that was very, very different about myself and started doing research into vampyres and vampyrism. This was something I did not advertise. I wasn’t completely comfortable with it until many years later. You never know how people will react to things like this.



Considering you believe yourself to be a vampyre, how do you think that fits with the Mental Health Counseling aspects? How would you respond to a labeled schizophrenic who was confirmed they were a vampire?



Actually that’s a really good question. Seems like a conflict. I think part of the problem is those in the field look for scientific answers for everything. I would have to hear out their story and see what signs and symptoms are. Usually you can tell if someone is making it up or not. I have actually run into people who believe they are something but it’s actually a mental instability. You can feel it in their energy. I think everyone should be able to be heard. I don’t know how the scientific community would feel about it. I believe there should be more counselors that would be more open minded about believing there are more things out there that can be proved. Oddly enough conditions like vampyrism will not respond to medication. If they didn’t respond to them and they ran a gamut of it, obviously there is something else they need to look at. There just aren’t that many out there that believe in kin and alternative beliefs. I hope to incorporate things like hypnotism to determine what is going on in these people’s heads.



How did you become involved with the Vampire Nation?



I had spoken to a friend of mine about the group but before I could talk to anyone I was sent an invitation into the group. This was about a couple of years ago.



Are you involved with any organizations of your own or others host and if so could you tell me a little about them?



I run Haven of Kindred Spirits. We are dedicated to promoting unity and understanding of and among our kind. Anyone who may have an alternative belief or subculture or someone wanting to learn about what is out there may join. We went live on the internet May of 2004. We were incorporated as a non-profit company that year. We have several chapters across the United States. Currently we have meet-ups here in Las Vegas once a week. We also have several other programs that Haven sponsors. We have the Haven Higher Learning and we have our Guardians. It is pretty much open to anybody that wants to join.



Is there any age restriction?



An age restriction only applies to the House part of Haven and for the Guardian program. You have to be 18 but for the general Haven there is no restriction. If under 18 and they want to participate in the Higher Learning classes or meet-ups we have to have a signed parents consent form.



Could you tell me about the House aspect of your organization, what its called and prerequisites to Join?



The House is Nox Noctis Domus Its made up of concentric circles. Each circle is a different involvement. In the most outwardly circle you have to be 18; you have to be vampyre, kin or some alternative belief. It is relatively open in the outward circle anywhere in the country and not just Las Vegas. As you go into the circles farther it becomes stricter, as far as location and involvement. They have to be a member of the Haven as well.



Do you belong to any other organizations besides the VN and the ones you sponsor?



I’m involved in close to 100 yahoo groups and some are different organizations. There are quite a few in Las Vegas I’m involved with. I don’t have enough time to go to meetings that much like Metaphysical Las Vegas. I try to keep up on what is going on in the Community and keep everyone working together. There are various Houses throughout the country I am actually involved with as well. The majority of my free time is with involvement with the community and the rest is with school.



What is the funniest experience at one of your meet-ups



A lot of us have known each other for a while. People come up with some really funny ideas. Once when we first started going to the place where we first had our meetings. There was a main waiter and a couple of regular waitresses there. About an hour into the meeting, the first waitress had quit. The second had quit prior to our next meeting according to this same waiter. . They were afraid of us. They thought there was a bunch of witches meeting there. That seems to be the running joke every time someone quits The main waiter told us that by the second week we had scared them off. We looked relatively normal and we didn’t discuss anything relatively frightening. So we just shrugged it off. Took it in stride and had a good laugh.



Another incident was that, we had for a long time a Republican town hall meeting prior to our meeting. At the place we first use to meet. When we would show up, you had never seen a bunch of people leave so fast when we walked in. The looks alone on their faces were priceless, she laughed. They had to get out immediately. I don’t know if they still have their meetings there anymore, as I haven’t seen them there in a long while. Normally we don’t make a big spectacle of ourselves. Sometimes we have people over who hear our conversations and join in, such as wait staff, etc. Its only been a few times we have scared people by our conversations.



Do you have any hobbies or other things you do?



I do a lot of reading and I am an avid learner. You give me a book about something I will read it. I do some creative writing and poetry. I have a cat walking across my mic, excuse me a moment she said laughing. Besides that I don’t have much spare time for anything. I just try to do a lot of reading.



Who is that mischievous cat you have there?



She is walking across my desk. I actually have three of them and I cannot go anywhere in my house without them. My youngest is a year and a half and her name is Obie short for Obsidian. Obie means magick in Haitian or something. My middle child is Ripley, she is a British long hair. My oldest, I think five now is a Lynx- point Siamese They are all very magickally inclined too, she giggle. They are my children.



Have you done much traveling and seeing the world?



Unfortunately, not too much. I did when I was younger with family. The only place out of the country is Mexico and the Caribbean. I have seen some of the US but not much very far east. That is about it as I haven’t had much chance to do so. I always wanted to travel, especially over in Europe and such but haven’t had much opportunity.



How do you see your place in the Vampire Nation?



Really pretty much the same as when I joined. I wanted to help out and contribute something to the Vampyre community as a whole. I just try to keep involved and do what I can to keep the community informed, together and functioning. I believe the VN is an excellent idea. I believe in the idea of it and the concept of it. I feel it’s an asset to the community as a whole. I really do believe in the VN and what it stands for.



If you were asked by someone newly awakened for words of wisdom and directions; what one thing would you tell them if you could only give them one answer?



Wow that’s a tough question. That would probably be that they are not alone. I know that doesn’t sound like much. The main thing I have run into from those that I have met concerns wanting some reassurance they aren’t the only one that this happened to. They want the reassurance that they are not the only ones out there. That they are going through the same things others have gone through previously.



How do you see the future of the VN in the next few years?



I would hope that it would be bigger and stronger than it is now. I would like to see it as a staple in the Vampyre community. Becoming a common name among the community for those that are looking for help. Perhaps if looking for help a community that is busy and comes to mind. I would like to see it that strong.



Is there any statement you would like to make to our readers in the community of your own?



I guess I’m not one that is real big on advertising. To be honest, I think Community is important. It doesn’t matter what group or community you belong to. I think its just connecting. It doesn’t matter as long as it is ethical and moral. It is most important to learn and connect to one another. Everyone has something to say. Everyone has to find their own way and their own path and they have to find it on their own. The groups are out there to give a little bit of direction, education and support. I would love to say join my group it’s the best out there but it might not be for each person. I just feel everyone should get involved and do what they can. This is what we are here for. We are here to help. It doesn’t matter which community. Only so much can be done for a person but they have to find their way. You can tell them and teach them but only the individual can find where they belong.



Those words are very true for all of us who have been searching. Thank you Lady Night for all your enlightening words. Lady Night Eidolon is indeed a very caring and knowledgeable asset to the Vampyre Community. Her door is always open to give you help. She is soft spoken but strong of heart and commitment.



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Interview with our Romanian Elder

18:12 Jul 29 2009
Times Read: 940


This was never finished although I believe I have other information stored some place but will give you some of his views which were very different from vampyrics in the US. He has a website with his own group Vampir Metrou but have heard mixed comments on the group so I will stay neutral. He takes in all types of members but I'm not one of them. This was the start of an interview for the GYP:





Today I am interviewing a very personable and charming young man who is now living in the United States but was born and raised in Romania. He is on the Ninth Chair of the Elders Council of the Vampire Nation.



Salut Vantor!



Salut.



Vantor, thank you for speaking with me today. I would like to know a little about your life growing up in Romania.



Vantor Constantin is the name I use in the Vampyre community. I was born June 11th 1977, at Colentina Spitalul (Hospital), Bucuresti. I was brought up in the mean, harsh streets of Communist Romania under the thumb of the Securitate led by the evil despot Ceausescu. Mother was assigned to the British Embassy in Burcaresti. My Father was a Romanian businessman.



Life was better for me than most because of my Mother's Diplomatic status. My Father, a hard working man, suppressed his Vampiric nature most of his life. Communism wasn't an easy time for SRV's (Stramos Roman Vampiri) or Traditional Romanian Vampires. Mother, a non-vampiric woman, did her best to bring me up in a comfortable lifestyle.



Father, was always against his vampiric background. He never let me study or practice until after the Romanian Revolution of 1989.



The Ceausescu's were difficult to live under. Their regime of terror lasted far too long. They systematically murdered hundreds of thousands who didn't submit to their rule. When the people could no longer take it, they did as all people do REVOLT! Communism in Romania came to an end on Christmas day 1989 with the death of Ceausescu and his wife. It was nothing like the "velvet revolutions" going on around us for example, in Bulgaria, Yugoslavia and Poland. We Romanians took to the streets in force The Armata (army) was on the side of the dictator until it saw the glory of our cause. Once the army folded we only had the dreaded SECURITATE to deal with, most of whom fought it out, while some ran into hiding. Now free from oppression, I began my Vampiric education.



That’s very interesting and harrowing Vantor, but before we go into your Vampiric education, I would like to know how you became aware that you were a vampir ?



I was told at a young age that Vampirisn in Romania was taboo. We were actually told that the Communists were using vampiri to control the army and the masses. My Father always told me not to practice it as he always denied his vampirism as I have stated previously. I hit puberty and my body changed. I went from slim and tall to very muscular with not much time invested in it. It was one of my first signs. It was what my father told me to expect. The rest was more painful. I developed a taste for violence and blood. On my 14th birthday my father came to me and told me, “life is about to change”, and it did.



When did you start your Vampiric education?



As I said when I turned 14 and we were now free of oppression, I began my Vampiric studies.

SRV's get three things: A Calauza, ( a guide) a Gazda ( like a hostess, the one you draw blood from for life) , and a drive to keep things as they should and maintain order. The Calauza is like your mentor. They teach you everything you need to know about how to conduct yourself. My Calauza talked me out of acts of violence and showed me the path to peace and SRV hood There are so many rules for being an SRV.



The Gazda is the one you must spend your life with. Usually chosen when a teen. I met mine when we were both 14. Males must be paired with female and females must be paired with a male, there is no other way. I will be marrying my Gazda in the near future. We will be waiting awhile before we start a family.



Now that you had started your training Vantor where did your life turn at this point?



In 1995 at the age of 18 I joined the Armata myself. BIG MISTAKE. I thought it would be an easy 4 years then go to University. I was wrong. I trained under terrible conditions. I found myself bunked with drunks and societies lost souls. Being very athletic though, I shined quite well. Soon I was appointed 1st Locotenent (lieutenant) Batalionul II Infanterie (2nd Infantry Battalion). I was then shipped in 1996 to places such as Sarajavo, Bosnia, and Kosovo. I saw things that I won’t repeat here due to taste. We can just leave it as DEATH ON A LARGE SCALE. With that my Military service ended over an argument with the upper ranks about not being able to open fire on war criminals. My Mother using her political clought got my service dropped and stuck me in University.



At the University what were your majors and what extra-curricular activities did you involve yourself in there?



Post war years, were spent at "UNIVERSITATEA SPIRU HARET" Str Ion Gahica nr, 13, sector 3, Bucuresti Romania. While there 1996-2001 I took triple course loads and received three degrees, two masters and a bachelors in History, Education, and Human psychology.



While at university I helped Professor Radu Florescu with his work on Dracula and his book, the Rau Carte. This was not the Florescu known in the United Statess as Florescu in Romania is a common name.





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17:49 Jul 29 2009
Times Read: 943


I am pretty formal when I write although in real life I am not so much. I am actually even though it might be hard to believe very easy going about most things or so my respite families have told me in the past.



I just speak up when I think things are wrong but now I am beginning to not care so much. Time and effort has been shot down sooo that is that. I have so much trouble reading some of the profiles with backgrounds all the way across and some of them are stretched and don't look very good but yet I guess most are impressed by that. I have always thought in most cases it looked funny to put a background like that then obscure it with writing. I guess most don't want it to be seen. I just don't understand how some rate when people clearly have a profile there with graphics, information and have spent time with changing codes to make the profile interesting. I saw this in another ID where this person who basically had no profile to speak of gave someone a 6 because she was bored with the theme of the profile and this person had changed a lot of things and had an excellent profile. Some aren't interested in Anne Rice character topics but the profiles we rate are not our personal tastes. Then you have the people that say they hardly even give out good scores and I wonder why. I look at their profiles and they are passable and like most around here that are premium but nothing that would win awards and wonder why they act this way. It gives a bad taste to me. It spoils my day that people are like this and why I got testy when normally I would not. I just got tired of paying for and creating something that was ME and having someone come along and spit on it.



I am an artistic person and not someone into bondage and things like that so I normally don't put up blood and guts much unless it is Halloween. I like dark things but that isn't my idea of dark so I mostly don't portray things like that. I look for something with impact but I like it balanced and attractive even if it was only gray and black. I personally don't like a page with a lot of writing in various colors much but I don't give bad rates for that at all and never have and why? It's not my choice nor my profile. I have always rated by the amount of the work a person did on the profile. Some here think they are Siskel and Ebert for some reason and most of the time I never agreed with their critiques...so I am not going to worry about profiles in this place anymore because no matter what people do here it won't make a whole lot of difference anyway.


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So you want to know who I am, since what I said doesn't appear to be enough.

06:04 Jul 29 2009
Times Read: 959


I don't really have any good photos anymore to tell the truth nor do I wish to take anymore really but here are two fairly recent ones but both were taken with a webcam and aren't too clear. My hair is now so long I can sit on it. It is natural blond but I lighten it a little. Most know me as Lady Nightdancer but others know me as Lady Saraphiel or Saraphiel Morningstar which is much newer. My House is Arcadia Bloodmoon and I also since around the millenium have the Temple of Lucidity. Actually there is a longer name but I would rather not say. I belong to many groups including one I am part owner which is the Vampire Nation or Vampiresnest; a Council. I am a member of Dark Nations, the Coven of Darkness, Temple of Lost Souls and some other organizations. I am not active in the scene but have been in the culture itself. I am a retired writer.



Photobucket




Photobucket




Here is my community bio that appeared in the GraveYard Press. Normally I am shy but talkie and generally tolerant of most things but I can sense when people are doing things and have been able to do that most of my life. It's not fun to know someone is being other than nice. Lady Adriana is my mentor from Louisiana, formerly of New Orleans but the storm destroyed her home and she lives outside the city a few miles.



A Tango with Lady Nightdancer



By Deacon Gray



Over the weeks, months or years of reading this and many other forums perhaps you, like I, came to realize that I really didn't know much about the selected elders of the community. I wanted to learn more about them, so with the creation of the Graveyard Press I saw a chance to be nosy and talk to some of the elders a little more close up and personally. One of those elders was one of the first I met was Lady Nightdancer (ID Musette).



My first interaction with Lady Nightdancer was in the middle of a fairly lively debate in a forum that she moderates, and sits as an elder, called the Vampire Nation. She currently is very active in the community and though known by many names she is respected as one of the true community elders and leaders.



GYP: Hello Lady Nightdancer and thank you for allowing this intrusion.



LN: Greetings Deacon, I’m happy to oblige you.



GYP: Can you tell me a little about yourself? Where you were raised, and what your influences were?



LN: Well to be perfectly honest, I’m a Navy brat. I was born on a Marine base called Camp Pendleton and we lived about 100 miles from there near a navel Hospital where my dad was a corpsman.



I grew up in a small town where the industry was basically growing citrus fruits. I was very quiet then, of course I am not now at all but back then I was and I always had my nose stuck in a book. I read about the occult. I read about the paranormal and was interested in the nature of things since very little.



Well I studied ballet and tap when I was a kid as well as baton twirling and did march in parades. I learned to play piano which I have now forgotten for the most part. I loved to dance and I was involved in singing. Actually I wanted to be a professional singer when I was younger. Though I was very shy, I was always an indoor person and not very social.



The big change happened while I went to a local college majoring in music (for vocalists) and Psychology. I got married and divorced and eventually moved to Orange County. There I got involved with a metaphysical channeling group called “Infinite Seekers” and various other people involved in the Psychic field. I was lucky enough to meet Isabel Hickey just prior to her passing who wrote Astrology: A Cosmic Science but when I saw her she was lecturing in a small bookstore in Buena Park on Huna.



GYP: Who was one of the most stand out people you remember?



LN: I met a lot of other people but what really sticks in my mind is meeting Robert Anton Wilson. My group “IS” did LARP with him based on his Illuminatus book. I never did know why or how they met him but I was called and came down two years consecutively to help with this game until his daughter died and he moved to northern California.



To be honest I was sort of dumbfounded by the whole thing and until I came online I had no idea how much he was revered in some circles and all this talk about Popes. I use to run into them in magickal groups and found out he was responsible for all that.



I had to giggle, as when I met him he was always in a suit and very business like and professional. I saw no humor in him at all. I actually had only read a portion of one of the books. This was very illuminating when I came online and found his name came up in quite a few conversations. I was like, well I know him, lol.



GYP: If you don't mind me getting personal for a second, what are your personal interests? What kind of music do you like, and how would you describe yourself?



LN: Asking me what my personal interests are is a dissertation in itself. I do hold great stock in astrology and I have Gemini rising. I am interested in just about anything, but mostly those things of the unknown that defy most people’s sense of reality, as we know it.

I know at times I have fascinated and even slightly scared people I have talked to but I never knew what it was because outwardly I am very vanilla. I am also very blond and my hair reaches my waist and I get told all the time I don’t look my age but what’s in a number?

I love sci-fi and horror so I always watched those types of movies and read that type of book or non-fiction in the area of researching the unknown. I was interested in everything Ruth Montgomery wrote.



I went to Star Trek Conventions and I loved the show Beauty and the Beast and have collected memorabilia from that show including my favorite script. I went to other conventions, such as Fangoria and met a lot of people. I had always wanted to meet Clive Barker but something always got in the way of doing so and my other quest more recently is Criss Angel. I’m dying to meet him.



I have studied all sorts of metaphysical, what I term, sciences such as astrology etc. I’m pretty adept at meditation and visualization. I was very involved with Spiritualists up until about 1980 something. Now it’s sort of a sideline interest. When I lived in San Diego I was a member of IANDS (International Society for Near Death Studies). I have always been interested in near death experiences, UFOlogy and abductions. I was a charter member of the Planetary Society started by Carl Sagan. I’m interested in Cosmology as well as Archaeology findings, religious studies, Ancient cultures and languages. I’m presently trying to learn Esperanto. I just don’t have enough time for everything.



As far as more mundane things, I have collected stamps most of my life and no, not off envelopes. I collect mint stamps. I also collect foreign coins on occasion and (beanie babies). Don’t tell anyone I told you. I collect angels, faeries and lighthouses. When I was in my own place you would find them all over and in every room. They were there with various Egyptian pieces as I love Egyptian lore and artifacts especially Scarabs. I am also fascinated by the Mayans. My patron Goddess is Sekhmet and I use her on occasion magickally.



GYP: What about Music?



LN: Musically I like just about everything except the old Country western pieces and Rap. I like some things no one in this Community I doubt would like such as Josh Groban and Michael Buble and others of this ilk. I like the older heavy metal bands, as my brother is a bass player and use to jam with Sammy Hagar. He came out of our area. I like Dargaard and Opeth a lot and most of the groups like Disturbed, Static X, Saliva, Avenged Sevenfold, 30 Seconds to Mars, After Forever, Sara Barelles, Lacuna Coil and so many others.



I have collected some of the older Gothic music such as Bauhaus but realized they are an acquired taste, I use to attend Contemporary Christian concerts but those that were associated mostly with the Rock/metal bands. I am not a Christian by definition and am more into Universalism if you were to pin me down. I don’t know, I guess I believe if one is communing with a “God” aspect it is a personal thing and I don’t like to define it by religion which is organized and I see the organization of a natural state to be corrupting. I told you I was outspoken.



GYP: When did you realize you were a vampire, when did you "Awaken"?



LN: I never had an awakening per se. Not like most associate as an awakening. I think with the organization of the Community people can identify with certain circumstances in their lives much easier. I was just a weird child. I would say I sort of evolved. I was thinking about religion and the meaning of things when I was under kindergarten age. I thought to myself, “is this all there is to life”. I felt doomed when I would come home from church, as I knew I could not make the grade on perfection and I simply did not believe half of what I was told. It didn’t feel right to me from a very early age.



I felt like I was being indoctrinated and I came to a realization about myself. This person, this body is not me I am “behind the eyes”. This is how I recognized it. I would never have back then in early 50s, called it “Vampyre”. I doubt anyone would have but I went through a lot of emotional upheaval because I felt out of place and I never fit in no matter how much I tried. I was always the weird one. I knew things most my age couldn’t even grasp and would likely have thought boring. I was never a kid.

GYP: So what type of vampire are you?

LN: Type of Vampyre? I always find that question amusing.



You see this is another soapbox issue with me because I think we try to figure out this by how we feed and I personally find it annoying. Why do I have to be a type? I am what I am but if you insist, I call myself, pranic/empathic. Not to be confused by the mistaken idea that pranic has something to do with sexuality as it does not. I am an energy feeder; sexual, emotional and what some term “god energies”.



GYP: Right, some call that “Eros Type Vampires.” Pranic feeding is something else isn’t it?



LN: Well they are both energy feeders, and one could refer to me as succubus-like, I guess, even if I have a different way of expressing it due to the generation I come from. I do have a latent tendency to feed off someone if depleted, as normally I do not take energy from aura fields or blood. I have learned to control my unconscious activities in that regard. Because of my metaphysical background it is spiritually abhorrent to me to do that. It’s just not part of my aesthetic.



I think these things have a lot to do with environment and origins. We simply don’t know enough about this to say much other than I’m drawn to feeding in such and such a way and if the Community wants to use that to label each other, so be it. I just don’t personally.

GYP: How long have you been in the vampire community and were did you start?



LN: Ah, in the Community. Well here comes this age thing again. When the Goth subculture became active, it was my kids that were interested in that, in the sense that they had friends in it. In the 70s and 80s I was working and raising children and involved in psychic training. I bring up Goth because in every history you find they will say the Vampyre subculture is a subset of the Goth movement, which we all know is not correct.



I know they are now closely linked together but they aren’t the same. If I went out to dance and so forth I wouldn’t have gone to any place like that, as it was a hang out for people much, much younger than I was, and it was very underground. I wouldn’t have looked for it. I instead was involved with the occult/metaphysical community.



In that time period I was actively beginning to hone magickal skills, all else was what came naturally to me with no effort. One of the previous Elders called me witchy, which I found interesting. Those I was with were not like me really, but it was the only place I could find where I remotely fit.



I discovered the internet and met people online and joined egroups and became familiar with people and spoke up and people became familiar with me. As to how long, I honestly don’t think of myself as having ever been in it, in the sense of socially. I am more of a serious person and into attaining knowledge more than social aspects of things. I didn’t think of it that way.

GYP: Interesting, did you hold any positions or conduct any projects?



LN: No as I said I didn’t belong to any of those types of things. I belonged online to many groups and Vampyre Magick for a long time but my focus was more in the area of magick and the occult and not the social underground communities.



I opened a vampyre chat room and met people online whose focus was that direction and I ran into Rev Dr Vamp Goddess here and there but we never got to know each other really until we were both in the VN and locked horns, lol. I did go to Pagan meetups in San Diego for awhile with my youngest daughter and met various people there. I stayed away from the Vampyre ones as it seemed to draw High School kids who were just interested in the lifestyle and glam of the Vampire.



GYP: What about since then? Before you joined the Vampire Nations what other people, places or groups had an influence on you, and helped mold your current views within the vampire community?



LN: Well I knew my niche was this “community” but I was quite frankly put off by a lot of the drama and politics of it so I stayed out of it. My lifestyle at the time did not leave me time to even worry about socializing or doing much more than surviving. I did go on occasion to LA and hang out at the Bhodie Tree.



I collect books. I got into bodywork and am a trained massage tech and instructor and attended a lot of alternative health expos and Psychic Fairs. I was always more the type of person who lived in their mind. I went into LA and went dancing back in the 70s but never saw anything like Goth or Vampyre down there anywhere.



I remember going to a club upstairs of a hotel I believe, with carved monkeys everywhere but I don’t remember the name. I went to the Whiskie. I use to go to Redondo Beach and Marina Del Rey to a club called, “A Clockwork Orange”. Many new bands would play there and on one occasion I ran into Alice Cooper there sitting a couple of tables over from myself and the man I was with. Most of what people think of as the Community is relatively new. There are a few people in early forties but most who are barely in their 30s,seem to be those that people look up to as the “Community” and the societies, Houses, Havens, clans and organizations they have created. But is it really? It’s like Wicca, modern age ideas. I don’t relate to all that but I accept it to be something that people identify with.



GYP: How long have you been in the Vampire Nation?



LN: I have been in the Vampire Nation right about at its inception in 2004. I belonged to another group that the co-founder had. As well as I belonged to many other online Vampyric, Occult, Magickal groups as I had many Ids by that time and I had them focused for certain organizational endeavors.



GYP: What made you want to become an elder for the Vampire Nations?



LN: At first I didn’t want to be involved in the management end of things but more in the creative end. I then saw who was in the Elder Chairs and felt I needed a voice in what was being created in the group. Perhaps, the voice of reason.



Actually bring an aspect in for those of us who are older and don’t actively participate in the “scene” end of things; a voice coming out of the wilderness so to speak. Besides I had a lot of organizational background and Occult studies and other things in my repertoire.



GYP: What projects within the Vampire Community have you had a major hand in, and which one did you like the best?



LN: I stay out of the affairs of other groups because beyond my own House, Arcadia Bloodmoon, that was strictly created for Vampyres and teaching each other and social activities in the Western part of the United States. I find I can only constructively focus on one organization at a time.



I have sort of left that on the back burner to focus pretty much solely on the Vampire Nation’s goals and activities. I love the creativeness of this group as it attracts many people from all over with their own philosophies from many organizations on various levels. This can only be a good thing. It enables us to be more accepting within our own culture and to connect us in a very positive way. It helps to show those who are not of this culture we are a serious group and not a passing phase.



No matter how we dress, or our individual beliefs, one thing stands out above all else, WE are all vampyres or associated kin and we all firmly believe this to be fact. Therefore, because of our beliefs and sense of what we are we come together and organize for the greater good. We come together because of who and what we are no matter our differences, age and background. We have some very interesting cross correlations with other belief systems and/or states of being. We want to be heard and being a major part of the VN gives me a great opportunity to participate with a Community that is coming into its own.



GYP: Are you currently working on any projects that you would like to share?



LN: There are always projects and ideas going on in the VN or relating to it and hopes to fulfill some of them. The problem is personal life, family and situations encroaching time. It’s very difficult sometimes.



One has to be very committed. I am trying to finish something I began two years ago and that is to create a Library where those in our subculture can go and find answers, resources and interesting articles. At the moment I am working on a project called The Graveyard Press. If you are reading this you know about it.

I love to write and research. I like to write stories, poems and informational articles and resources of interest. This has been a worthwhile experience, as we have allowed those in the community, a certain percentage to participate in our Ezine. We hope this will breach the gap and bring us all together to accomplish projects. It’s fun, challenging and rewarding.

It took us a year to actually get it up on the internet. It wasn’t until we met an amazing lady named, Deallas that all of us were able to make this vision a reality. I know it will only get better and better as the zine is known and people send us their thoughts and articles to print. We really want to showcase those of our community. We are a very creative and talented bunch.



GYP: What do you find the most difficult part of being an Elder in the Vampire Nation?



LN: Remaining neutral on all occasions because I do have viewpoints of my own outside the standards of the organization. It is also difficult making some people understand the set up of the group, and that we are of many philosophies, Houses and organizations. We don’t try to define what everything is so precisely but let people explore it in an email group civilly.



GYP: What advise would you give to a newly awakened vampire?



LN: Stay calm. Don’t buy into everything you read and hear. Explore how you are feeling through groups or friends you know that are established in the Community and then look more until you find what you feel fits with your circumstances. Only YOU can truly know what you are. It’s confusing and for some perplexing and scary but anything new is. You will be surprised; doors will open to you that you have never expected. It’s the way of the vampyre.

GYP: Over time you have had to deal with some pretty hard cases. Instances like disrespect, threats, fighting on the forums and major disruptive personalities. How do you deal with those issues?



LN: It really depends on the circumstances. I write to them and try to explain the rules of the organization if it’s a first instance. If it has been a few times and this person is basically someone who loses it once in awhile but is reasonable they get moderated. Some people come in with a “look at me” attitude while professing others are doing this and they have a long signature line announcing who they are each time they post.



I’m not talking about the usual ones you see with most but big bold ones while they post and say very rude things. These are the types of people who will get banned after doing this a few times. They tend to wait until they are no longer on new member moderation. I do not know why there are some that have to make a statement via mean spirited posts and condescending, patronizing statements other than they have to be chaotic/negative feeders that get pleasure out of doing so. It disrupts the group but many times Moderators can’t win. You have those that are saying why do you let this get posted while others are crying free speech. I think people have to be realistic.



The laws are more stringent and we cannot allow any libel on any of our groups. Our policy for threats on or off the main board if it stems from conversation in the Vampiresnest will be treated seriously and we will report to the proper authorities. We cannot allow anyone to threaten members with bodily harm. They will be banned. Many times when it escalates a lot, it goes to the Elders board for a view of procedure and if there are inflammatory remarks on the posts that seem to be escalating in kind, I call for Bloodwaraxe, First chair of the Guard.

GYP: Ok enough of the grilling. I have some more personal questions if you don't mind sharing. Do you have any pets and if so what kind and what is it named?



LN: I have had many pets over the years. My fondest pets were Sable and Sweetie. They were two pet rats that I would play with when I lived in San Diego. I had to give them back to the people who gave them to me because my job was keeping me away from home.



Rats are social creatures unlike hamsters. This is why I had two of them. They do get lonely and they are very smart. Domesticated rats are clean and as smart as a dog. If you get them young they can learn to come when you call them and tricks and be a lot of fun. They usually won’t bite unless you are foolish enough to stick your finger through the bars of the cage. They have to be taught the difference between food and fingers. I have had many cats, a dog growing up and many, many fish. I like bettas. I have had a bird or two but at this point I have no pets of my own but my daughter has two cats here that are Bengal leopard breed of tabby. Kakini which means socks in Hawaiian because she has white feet and her Mother who was named Wooky but my daughter calls Momma. Unfortunately even though I love cats, I am allergic to them.



GYP: Are you married…single…committed or still flirting?



LN: That would be telling! Actually I am in perpetual separation that should be remedied soon and I’m in the midst of wannabe relationship with someone slightly over three years who I am committed to.



GYP: Thank you for your time, and commitment to the community. Is there anything more you would like to share?



LN: Just be tolerant of the differences in our Community. Don’t believe you know all there is to know and treat others with the respect you would want for how you see yourself. Embrace the darkness but don’t succumb to it.



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Sighs

05:06 Jul 29 2009
Times Read: 966


Typical when the shoe is on the other foot that those complaints start rolling in. Well honeys, I rate fairly as I see fit. Isn't that the slogan around here, lol...rflmao? If you can't take the heat get out of the fire and stop the bs. Don't pretend it was nothing more than fair when I know it was not. Whine, whine, whine, drama, drama, drama. If it has nothing to do with you quit being a sheeple and following orders of commanders in chief. I cannot believe the stupidity of some here. I feel like I am back in High School...guess that is a new computer game. I think I can play it well. I was there long before most here. Get over it and move on. If it's not you then you have nothing to say do you? I didn't start it. I am not sweet, nor innocent or a push over. I know others get upset too and it causes drama and who caused it? It wasn't me!!!!!!!!!! I just set the record straight that I think some people who are trying to act like they are so innocent about things here are not but are shallow and quite frankly it appears now they don't tell the truth. We don't need to be friends. I won't miss you and for those who are actually my friends it is because you are nice people. I won't talk about this subject anymore.


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Last Time I am Going to say it

03:55 Jul 29 2009
Times Read: 1,002


If you think you can come over and give me scores that will lower me numerous points, I won't allow it. It is not like someone in the lower levels giving a 7, 8 or 9. I am watching all of you and seeing who you are and what your rank and position is. I see something going on and it better stop. I think all of you should get the shameful award. You might think my measures are mean but I warned each and everyone of you I would not stand for this snooty, I am so great my profile doesn't smell because I am a Sire BS. I use to have a 9.973 and I worked hard for it. It isn't necessary for anyone to have a transparent background and others don't. A profile is for telling about who you are and sharing things here to the creators specifications. It isn't hard to read. It has plenty of information with extras and its pleasant to look at. That is all there needs to be. It is a waste of my time to do this if there is a gang up with no honor going on here and yes, I will give a low rate so suck it up folks because I don't want to hear it. I know very well all of you give better scores to people with nothing on their profiles. Don't try to talk to me because I don't want to hear it. I won't talk to you at all, any of you who act like you are high mucky mucks. Many of the Sires here are wonderful people. It is the few of you who think you are special for some unfathomable reason that ruin it for anyone to have any enjoyment here. You were warned in past posts so I do what I say I will do and why? I am fed up with shallow people here who ruin things for everyone else.


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Moving right along to True Blood

20:13 Jul 28 2009
Times Read: 1,008


This last episode was really something. Everyone was entwined almost with everyone else. I wonder if Jason is going to find out that crazy church has his sister trapped in the basement. Maybe whatever she is will become more apparent in the next episode. I knew Maenads sacrificed people but I didn't expect her to try Sam and when the lady he was with turned into a pig I knew she was sent by MaryAnn. I can't understand why she would do that. He is so nice or his character is. MaryAnn is such a witch, well not in all actuality but in action. Wonder if she is capable of finding true love or she always gets her fulfillment through others. I hope Eric saves Sookie. I know Bill wants to do something but his maker won't let him. I knew also she was coming back into the picture. Enjoyed the flashbacks and was amused seeing him sing and play piano. Wonder what happens next?


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Naming names publically and calling them anything is a no-no

19:43 Jul 28 2009
Times Read: 1,015


If you want to rant or complain in your journal it is perfectly fine but you cannot make it personal and call someone a retard or any other name with it being specifically directed to an individual that can be recognized because you have posted their ID or real name. Whether a figure of speech or not it is inflammatory and it is libelous. People in High School or just out of it are use to name calling and think nothing of it but in the real world or cyber world you cannot get away with it any longer if someone feels they have been defamed.



I had a friend in Florida sue a woman over comments made about him in a yahoogroup and he won for defamation of character and libel. So despite what this says further there are cases being filed and won. If you single out someone and call them names or disparage someone you had better be able to prove you are right.



Retard means: to delay academic progress by failure to promote. I don't promote anything here at all. I am a paying customer.



We know when this is said it means retarded and the meaning of that is: slow or limited in intellectual or emotional development or academic progress. Since I worked in respite for 10 years with dd kids and adults I am not retarded and have had numerous background checks. Therefore the following is applicable if you make the same mistakes with anyone by name calling and posting personal things and written messages from a private or person's see only space, in otherwords See who has rated you, etc. It isn't public knowledge or all could access anyone's Premium space. I know they can be seen from the profiles but not usually as posted as well as private convos from your mailbox cannot be posted in a public place like your journal for all the members here to read without the other person's permission. Anything like that requires the other person's permission. See following for more information.



--------------------------------------------------------------



Understand how to protect yourself if you're responsible for any potentially libelous content published on the Internet. In order for someone to sue you for libel, the published statement(s) must first of all be known to be false and second, must cause injury to the party at whom they're directed.



Remove any potentially libelous content at once if someone threatens to sue you. In some jurisdictions, Internet content may still be applicable to cease and desist laws. This essentially means that the complainant must first ask the webmaster or person responsible for the offensive content, in writing, to remove it before legal action can be taken. ( have made commentary and it should have been removed)



On the Internet, where abnormal behavior is the status quo, tempers can flare in the heat of debate and word wars can last for days or even weeks. It's not uncommon for users to ridicule, harass or insult those who disagree with them.



But if you damage someone's reputation by trying to embarrass them in a public forum, you could be sued for libel or defamation. After all, there's no reason to assume that the messages you send through cyberspace are immune from lawsuits.



Thought it should be known. As I said previously, I had a friend in the community that had a lady calling him names and accusing him of things publically typed into a yahoogroup and he sued in Florida and won the lawsuit. It is freedom of speech when what you say is the truth. It is not because you decide someone has acted in a manner you don't like so you start calling them names like asshole, retard, and the like if you name their specific ID or their real name. There are limitations when you are inflammatory to individuals. So the public showboating needs to stop. You might try an apology once in awhile to individuals if that is in your vocabulary.


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I'm over it but I have a bad temper

17:36 Jul 28 2009
Times Read: 1,023


My temper is something I think I didn't mention, lol. I don't like to be messed with in a malicious way. I like to talk to people when I can and create and change profiles. It is a way to ... well it was a way to release stress. Some do take it seriously here and spend HOURS creating and rating and that is the name of the game. Everyone wants to say and do something against what this place is about. It's fine if you don't care about your ratings and generally I wouldn't either but you know by the people who do certain things, after you have been here for awhile and I have for more than two years, who are not very nice people. They deliberately go around stirring the pot and then say, "duh, what did I do." I have to say if you aren't a serious participant then what is the point? If you took hours creating your profile and some idiot who knows better rates a low rating and plummets you more than 30 points it is not just you it affects, it affects the overall scoring and this is a GAME and competitive. Your scores affect the coven/house and alliances. Why do any of this at all or be here if you don't care about anything. I know when someone does something on purpose just to see if they can get away with it by who they are and what they usually do...these are the people complaining about being blocked all the time. They usually are because they are people that really shouldn't be here but for whatever reasons have worked themselves up into a position of power and are usually making fun of family and friends or someone else in their journals. All I have to say on this matter and I do take it seriously...got a problem with that it's fine. I get tired of people saying its nothing when it is. People play chess and it's just a game and they go for big prizes just the same as with poker or any other game. The prize here is achievement.


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Aha The Big Guns, lol

12:18 Jul 28 2009
Times Read: 1,034


Keep it up, I know you have several profiles. I will keep after you too if you want to play like that. What a wimp!


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Claps really loud

12:09 Jul 28 2009
Times Read: 1,035


Go read RavenKnight's profile. It really says it all and I have been through this and really for a paying person here who should be thought of as a guest, I have been treated pretty poorly and on my other sites as well. I could pass the word to numbers of people because of what I do and those I figuratively hang out with but I am not like that. My experience is not someone else's experience. I feel I should be allowed peaceably to portray who I am in whatever way I choose without ridicule. I realize some say things to cover up that they are just doing it because they can and especially if they are in competition and the person is much, much lower with fairly high ratings. Well no one has to worry about me anymore. It took only three of these types of people to do that to me out of hundreds who said the opposite. So who is right? It just goes to show what many have said for centuries...power corrupts.



I have a different outlook on life and what I think of as dark and out of a time when goth wasn't in existence. People think of that as the epitome of darkness for some reason and I laugh because its just a movement like any other which was originally associated to music but became a philosophical movement that includes for some a complete lifestyle. Much like the beat generation and the hippies. I don't consider those they call hippies now to be true hippies and there weren't that many out and about back then but a style of dress formed from that time period and various slang words that all used but the majority weren't really hippies there were just associated fads is all. Like for women, wearing long dresses and guys wearing longer hair and headbands and you name it. It was a very colorful time period but it was mixed with other things. Folk music was popular but then rock was as well. There have always been perspectives. No person who has lived through many things can explore all of that on one profile or would want to do so.



I give sketches sort of. Some people here like to put up their poetry and you hear others say that shouldn't be there. Who says? I haven't seen that in the VR Manual. People are free to put up their likes and if they write it might be a poem here or there or some other thing they are into and proud of or wish to share. People here are so funny in my estimation in how judgmental they are and people should stop saying a fair rating or as I see fit. It really gets old and everyone knows this anyway but if you do give an unfair rating you deserve the feedback.



Others who have nothing on the profile basically must understand you aren't going to get high scores from everyone but for me anyone who spends a lot of time on theirs and you can tell, deserves a 10 whether you like the color or content. That isn't the goal here but to rate fairly and how many say they do? I guess fair really doesn't come into the picture, because I don't think that is in the manual either. Unfortunately this new system has brought out the worst in some people here and the one's who are showing the worst behavior are the one's who should be charitable and fair but they aren't in most cases.


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I have never laughed so hard

10:01 Jul 28 2009
Times Read: 1,042


I think you should suck it up KID. KID is what you are. What educated person uses the term "retard." It is a sign of someone who is a child and uneducated. You wanted to play the game and I played your silly little power game you started. You think you are special because of your ranking. Your profile sucks big time and is BORING. As for the other person, if you can't read handwriting because that is what the font is, then you need glasses. I have changed my profile twice. It is MY, MY, MY prerogative to present my profile as I see fit and not yours. It isn't your ugly profile. That is not a representation of you. At my age I am not going to put childish things on mine. I have had my fonts from Arial, Tahoma, Lucida Caligraphy and you name it and it didn't make any difference to shallow people who dwell on this site like this person and others. They get their kicks out of power plays. So don't try to put me down for the hours I worked and spent on mine which is indicative of me and NOT you. I didn't give you a 1 you whiny baby. If mine is what you rated yours is less and that is what you got and I didn't want to hear any of your crying so you got blocked. You never practice what you preach you just get off on making fun of other people. You have a lot of nerve! Your shit smells like anyone else's. Here is the packet of diapers I bought for you. Use them to wipe your nose. What an idiot! I don't use names here because you know what...I can sue you little kid for putting it up on a public forum like that without my permission and libeling me. If you don't think so, talk to my daughter the paralegal. If you know what's best for you, I would suggest you shut up along with all your followers. I am also not in the mood for any shitty comments. I HAVE HAD IT!!!!!


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10:09 Jul 22 2009
Times Read: 1,053


How could I have missed True Blood, bangs her head on the wall? The big question is how did I miss Sunday, lol? It just slipped on by. I am going to go look and see if it is in demand. Can't believe I did that, I 'm so addicted. Hope there is a bunch with Eric...yummy!!!


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09:53 Jul 22 2009
Times Read: 1,056


Sorry guys, I removed all the Celtic music awhile back. I didn't get tired of it I just get moods and move to something else. Here is a music video with her in a cemetery. The song was written for Disney's Hunchback of Notra Dame but they cut it from the movie. I think it is on the disc, not sure as something that was cut. How could they cut such a beautiful song. I didn't care for the vocalist in that particular animated movie, she really didn't sound good singing it, lol.









This is the original never used demo of Someday sung by Heidi Mollenhauer you can find on the German DVD of HoND and on the laserdisc







Here it is with the full animation. I think it was a big mistake to cut this. This Disney movie wasn't that popular.







I like Chloe's version best, lol.

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00:13 Jul 19 2009
Times Read: 1,065


If you see my profile, please would you rate it instead of flying by on your jet to some unknown destination. I spent hours on this version and assumed some didn't like the Celtic Music but you know what, this is my profile for my tastes. How are you going to get to know me if you rate by what you like. I'm not you at all.



Therefore I changed it and it is actually fun hunting for the graphics etc. I change many of the graphics and some I don't. Some are the way they came and some I do a number of things to get a certain look. I most often have to size them. I don't usually have a transparent table because that really isn't me and when you do that you have all these boxes hanging in mid-air unless you are good at finding gifs with transparencies to go up. It's not MY style too much but I like most I see by others. A few don't go in too well but people keep them that way for some reason. I really give high rates when that happens because I know they spent a lot of time on it.



Anyway if you are a role player, I will know it. Please don't embarrass yourself by messaging me thinking I will be gullible and not know. I am not going into all the ins and outs of how I know but suffice it to say, I KNOW. If we want to play in fantasy land, watch out for Blade, lol...he is on the prowl and he is looking for YOU.


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So now let's Party

20:04 Jul 16 2009
Times Read: 1,077


This is probably you guys, lol. Well and maybe me too on occasion.



Photobucket




OR this is probably more like it in my case, lol. ------------>




Photobucket

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RATING, RATING, RATING, this is not a couple of lines.

19:30 Jul 16 2009
Times Read: 1,089


It seems to be on the mind of most these days. I see it in the profiles. In a perfect world I guess many would use all of the rating scores 1 - 10 but they never have except a minority. What I have experienced through three profiles is that those who rate from 5 down use them for either revenge or just to rate someone down for no apparent reason than they think their views of the profiles are the right views. The only person I have ever given below a 6 has been someone who uses threats and a high amount of foul language and inappropriate things on the profile for a mixed site IMHO and I do use my opinion but I try hard to remain neutral to be fair.



We do use our opinions but to say someone is rated fairly isn't true at all. It should say "you have been rated fairly in my estimation". You got to look at time and effort and not what you personally like. I have seen numerous profiles with high scores that I thought sucked in appearance and were hard to read. Therefore I don't rate by that criterion, I rate by what looks like a lot of time and effort. So you can usually fill a whole page with default writing but generally I will not give you a ten. Your profile does not deserve a ten compared to many other people here. There are help pages here so there is no excuse for a bland profile.



BUT then there are those who come along and have very high levels and rate down to drop the scores of other groups they are in competition with...that is unethical and shows the character of that person. Most often the person who claims they have seen it before has a very mundane profile, too short and likely with a lot of scroll boxes. Now here is the difference with me, if I rated down because I hate scroll boxes would that really be fair cause I think they are annoying and I would like to give everyone a 3 who has them or tiny fonts over a busy background. I don't do that because it's not my business to judge someone's profile style. I just don't read what is in the scroll box is all. I would rather they be longer than have those.



This isn't some place where you put this brief little few lines like regular forums...if it was that then why rate them at all...makes no sense. Your profile is a piece of you...your art of you. My opinion I know but a whole hell of a lot better than those who rate by the standards they have for themselves. I may not know html well or CSS but I can tell when people put in a lot of time and when they don't and if you don't...you will not get a 10 most likely. Sometimes I give them when it is only default and personal pics depending on how it was put up. We have portfolios for the photos here.



I look for interesting graphics that fit the profile. Many just throw graphics up. I do not rate down for that, it has to do with personal taste...theirs. Please try not to stretch the page though...that can be really annoying if your graphics are too large. You can size them in photobucket or photoshop. Rating seems to be a really sore subject here, lol. I know why and I have had people do shitty things and usually the ones or their friends who do it say why do you whine over that...I consider that a cop out and that person is just a fool. It is human nature for anyone here to be upset if they have spent hours to make their profile how THEY like it and have some idiot come along and rate them lower than the last 40 people for no other reason than they want to be a putz. Get over it folks some people ARE entitled to be upset.



It's a competition and we all know it, but people can be civil and rate according to the person in question and not according to your standards. Yes, it is the dark network but there is nothing that says the profiles have to be dark. Besides what is dark is relative anyway and generally that doesn't mean dark colors...it is a state of mind in a way. It has nothing to do with fetish or orientation at all. It has to do with the occult. I like pentagrams and pentacles but far too many people equate them with Satanism or Wicca and they are far older than that. Even Moses knew the use of them and others way back like Solomon. I like them but don't put them up because sure enough someone will come along that doesn't like Satanists or Wiccans and rate me down for it and make suppositions about it. Just how it is here.



You have religious people on soapboxes of all types and that needs to be left for personal offline business. I don't care what you believe but don't challenge me and don't challenge me on the profiles either because I won't play the game you are starting...I will end it. That's when I won't care about the dang scores. Now, sourpuss hour is over on KYB radio.

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22:31 Jul 14 2009
Times Read: 1,099


So what is all this folderol? Tosses her dogs a piece of meat. Meat starts with an M doesn't it, rflmao.



Ok for people who don't know the word, seems some don't know certain words. Look at definition 2. This is how most use the word and how I use it.







Main Entry:fol·de·rol

Pronunciation:ˈfäl-də-ˌräl

Variant(s):also fal·de·ral ˈfal-də-ˌral

Function:noun

Etymology:fol-de-rol, a nonsense refrain in songs

Date:circa 1820



1 : a useless ornament or accessory : trifle

2 : nonsense





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04:33 Jul 14 2009
Times Read: 1,110


Oh feigned surprise at a response that is surely due to preordained agendas. Incredulity so much a part of lies. Am I angry, did I say I was angry...sounds like a personal problem to me. I don't like to be patronized by people I could call grandchild.


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20:48 Jul 13 2009
Times Read: 1,119


Now we come to True Blood. Another orgy last night. Those Southern Vampire stories must be up there with Harold Robbins because it never fails if they have a couple pretty clean shows that the smut pops up. It's ok what can you expect from bloody hungry, sexual vampires. Got to love those guys, especially ones that stand over six feet tall and have an interesting new hairdo. Why hasn't he joined all the revelers. Bet that sly ol MaryAnn can't glamor him with her Bacchian orgie feasts.


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20:04 Jul 13 2009
Times Read: 1,126


Oh poor me, wa, wa send the wambulance according I guess to a consensus of people that never paid any attention to my journal prior. Is it really anyone's business what I mean by anything? Guess I could make it a private entry but then my stories would be unheard and we wouldn't want that. What's the point writing them? Dear Diary, today I had a bad experience...hahahahaha... Oh really now did I? Games were to be played and that's what we do and sometimes they are for having fun and that is what I do too. Some are masters of drama and take a story and twist it so they can get people to feel sorry for them. And why? After all they are innocent of anything, just wanted to read around the old ranch for fun since they haven't any thing else to do .



Got to tred with my hell hounds back through the niceness ground full of bloodred tulips and hope we weren't followed. Looks around ... nope nothing. The dogs need to be fed, wonder who I can throw to the dogs? Maybe Nosey Parker has been by...that may make a good meal. Hopefully they won't choke from the stench. Evil, lol... So she looks up the meaning of "evil" in her handy dandy online dictionary and lo and behold there is more than one meaning. Slaps herself upside the head for not knowing and voila here it is that cunning little devil.



b: arising from actual or imputed bad character or conduct. Merriam-Webster is so knowledgeable, who knew. Surely I didn't know because after all is this only for dictators like Hitler or others of his ilk. Not according to the dictionary from what I can tell? OMG, everyone has been talking about a dictator here. You know I should have known since actions speak louder than words. What does ratings have to do with this, nothing of course. I mean how could it have anything to do with that? No one cares about that sort of thing here. Especially those of high rank with their crossbows. They have no time, out practicing to take pot shots. Revision, I have no opinion since critiques are so boring...yawn.



Drama, drama, drama...takes her Sasquatch stamp and places it all over her journal. Now she has learned what causes all of that and can live up to the stamp that was placed all over her domain. Does anyone know what satirical means these days???


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08:17 Jul 13 2009
Times Read: 1,145


Once upon a time there was a girl who thought she sweated gold and spoke in eloquent tones. She didn't notice her horns and how so many people detested her because she was mean and evil in almost all her dealings. No one could top her. She earned the silent award for worst person in 10, 000 plus people. It was known through the country far and wide except by cronies that must have been paid off with promises of her speaking to them in golden tones.



She couldn't take defeat even though you could clearly see the tail between her legs so her best thing was to punch up her presence with larger than life pictures and name dropping. Oh how she had her worshippers but for everyone of those she had a long list of haters who didn't want to give the time of day to express it. One could scarcely not believe her life was empty and cold due to her petty little schemes of taking someone and rating them down even though a notch which would have them plummeting by measure. The person would have gone from the heights and barely caught themselves in the fall hopelessly waiting for their well earned rise. You find people like this everywhere...too bad the big bad wolf didn't eat her.



Wonders if there is a spreading of guiltitis...we shall see because once upon a time there was a girl who couldn't hide she was evil.


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07:35 Jul 12 2009
Times Read: 1,148


I don't have much in the Occult area because I don't write too much about that topic really. I am more interested in legends, folklore that is now written down, myths and the like. Sometimes science things or metaphysical. People have different ideas about what metaphysical is but I am more meaning in the philosophies of the well if I have to say it "New Age" groups and before. Unfortunately that word is so demeaning and I just don't like to use it. Others have definitive views on what all of that is but I write more in that area than the hardcore occult. I write on things associated once in awhile. When I am in the mood.


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Music, music, music

11:23 Jul 11 2009
Times Read: 1,156


Music has been on my mind since I was a very little girl. In High School I wanted to be a professional singer but I lost interest in that even though I majored in music in college. It's too difficult to get into that career anymore in California. One of the record producers said to my brother recently that there is no market for music in the US...wow I thought. He said to give it away and put it in places like YouTube and Myspace and then you keep track of your hits...that's how you get your contract if it is played a lot. The internet literally ruined the music business in the US. I never get music off the net. I buy the CDs I don't want them to become obsolete or the musicians to stop making music. Anyway I don't know why I am talking about this now, lol.



I wanted to talk about another song that has been recorded a lot of times and that is The Prayer. It is one of my fav songs outside of the more rock/metal stuff I listen to. I listen to a very wide range of music.



It was first recorded by Celine Dion and a duet with Andrea Bocelli. She may have recorded it first but she doesn't sound good singing the song, lol. She also did duets with Josh Groban but it is the duet he did with Charlotte Church I think is the best. I have since heard a number of people sing it but it is best done as a duet and I think Josh and Charlotte sound the best of all the versions I have heard. What is funny is it is from an animated motion picture. I have it somewhere, lol.



"The Prayer" won the Golden Globe Award for Best Original Song from the Quest for Camelot movie in 1999.



The movie only has a very short version of the song. The words were changed for the single.

She is what ruins it, lol.









Now listen to Josh Groban and Charlotte Church. They had them sing this duet at numerous places including the Olympics. They became pretty famous for singing this duet even though supposedly it is Celine's thing but she just doesn't do it justice.









This is the first version I heard with them. They were both really young. I had never heard of him or her. It was on her album. One of my clients wanted me to hear her. It got to this song and I said, she's good but WHO is he, lol. I went to Borders and he had just done his first album and I bought it. I made them go into the cupboard and look for it because the display was empty, sold out.



This is the arrangement they are doing now:








This one is probably not Charlotte's best performance but her voice changed a bit and she has been singing another style of music for awhile. Still better than the other I think. I like the one when they were both younger and that arrangement.



David Foster had something to do with writing the songs in the movie so I think that is how Josh got involved in singing with Celine Dion as well and then Charlotte Church.



Trivia I know and totally boring...but unfortunately not to me. I was thinking about it because I am watching a video of Celtic Woman and Chloe Agnew does a version of The Prayer and it's ok. I think it is best done as a duet like the ones above.

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03:18 Jul 10 2009
Times Read: 1,162


I have watched Knowing over and over all day long to get all of the elements of the movie and even after a few times realized there is so much you can miss in the movie. I just don't understand the reviews for this film. I think it is one of the best scifi thillers I have seen in a long time. I really like it. Going to see how much it is, lol...Here I come amazon!!!


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23:16 Jul 09 2009
Times Read: 1,166


Photobucket







I read reviews on occasion of movies and I guess I am just contrary. I put "Knowing" on one of my other profiles...the trailer. I don't agree with any of the reviews, lol. I liked the movie. It was a gripping, scifi thriller. Usually they are dark and brooding and people are being chased for unexplained reasons.



I didn't connect the aliens personally to angels but eh that is just me. The solar flare scenario is a very real threat. I have read about it and we are in a solar max. I'm not so sure at the magnitude of total destruction, mostly because I don't remember. There were some religious references but they were incidental. Predictions made hundreds of years ago are always religious oriented. I didn't see this movie any darker, drug out or brooding than the Da Vinci Code or any other apocalyptic type of movie and invariably they always get bad reviews. The only scifi like that I have seen that doesn't is things like Star Wars which are ok but very comic book like. I thought the movie was good and so did my daughter. Just my opinion of course.

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MY fav on the player but I like all the others as well

02:00 Jul 09 2009
Times Read: 1,169


My favorite song on the player is Someday. Even though it is being sung by Chloe of Celtic Woman the song is actually from Disney's Hunchback of Notre Dame. It is also called Esmerelda's Prayer. I actually never saw that movie. I think I saw bits and pieces taking care of the dd kids I had but other than that nope. Celtic Woman doesn't do all Irish music. They do mostly that but they just sing beautiful entertaining music.



Alan Menken and Stephen Schwartz write the most beautiful songs and why I was disappointed that they didn't get awards for the songs in Enchanted...bad taste on the Guild, lol. I have watched Enchanted more than the kids...Dang it I like Disney movies so there!!!



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It really is very hard

18:20 Jul 08 2009
Times Read: 1,174


When I read again what I wrote about David within a conversation which was fun and lighthearted (you had to be there), I remember his voice on the phone and yes we did talk on the phone too for awhile until his phone kept cutting out. I had wondered if he had made up where he lived, not the town but that he had an actual regular home. He had been homeless at one time living out of his car or so he told me but it was long before I had ever spoken with him.



My last messages were in December of 2007 where he was begging me to continue to leave him offlines and I did do that but he wasn't getting them and I don't know why. His email was active last I tried to write but I am not sure he is the one using it...who knows. It kind of boggles my mind that he would spend so many hours and years in a pursuit that was so futile but he did. We are talking about a minimum of eight or more hours a day and then talking on the phone at night for a couple of hours. I guess I miss him but I also think that was all there was ever suppose to be...an interlude. I also wondered if he had a terminal illness because of many off handed references that he wouldn't be around too long or he wasn't going to live too much longer. I don't like to think of that. I prefer to think he moved on. I will share this so you can see but I only had a name and a voice and nothing more and that was fine. I'm sharing this with a lot of strangers but in some ways this is healing for me to do this. I never said he led me on but that is what he got out of my messages. I just wondered where he was and if he was all right.



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knightofevilness (7/12/2007 10:41:18 AM): I never lead you on, I keep telling you it's hard for me to come online, even if you dont believe me there is nothing I can do about it at the moment. I wish you would come online, because there are a lot of things that I wont say in an offline. What are you doing? keep leaving me offlines, dont forget about me



knightofevilness (7/12/2007 10:47:58 AM): I guess youre not going to come online today, I know I havent waited for long but I have to go because I cant use my cousins computer all day im sorry



knightofevilness (8/31/2007 12:35:03 AM): I know I havent been on at all, I wish you would come on right now so I could talk to you. I dont see any offlines from you, I guess I dont deserve any but honestly I never did anything intentionally to hurt you. You always told me how long it's been but I never really understood until a week or two ago when I thought about it and It finally really hit me that I have wasted about five years of your life. I dont know if you even want to talk to me anymore but I still want to be with you. I am going to talk to a psychiatrist, I know that doesnt make anything better but I'm going to try to fix things. I think about you everyday



knightofevilness (12/19/2007 8:03:33 AM): I have come online and I leave you offlines but if you have sent me any I havent recieved them. I guess telling you I love you wont make anything better but I know that I havent told you anything for a while and even though I may have lied about certain things I never lied or exaggerated about how I felt. If I could come online everyday I would, If I could call you I would. I could send you regular mail but what good is it if you cant mail me back



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I never understood why I couldn't mail him back. His mail came back as not a proper address and he had no explanation for it. I just thought he was married, lol. He said no but you know how that goes but I don't see how he wouldn't have gotten caught after so many years but who knows. He will always be my Oakland enigma. Yes, it does make me cry and even now. You can't talk to someone for so many hours about everything in your life and in his that he would talk about and it was quite a bit and not feel some sort of emptiness. I just hope he is all right and happy. We had no fights or anything connected to not talking, it all seemed to be financial in nature. Oh well, you can't fight those three ladies the Fates. I guess writing and sharing about this sort of makes me feel connected in some way. David has always been my favorite male name. I thought it was "kismet".


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Lady Death

16:14 Jul 08 2009
Times Read: 1,178


I found a nice graphic of a super hero/villain and used it in my profile since it sort of fit to a degree and I thought the guys might like her and some of the ladies. Here is an excerpt from Wiki that tells a little about her. She is the one that has the Latin phase under her about the stars.



* * * * *



Lady Death is a fictional character, a comic book goddess created by Brian Pulido and Steven Hughes. Lady Death first appeared in Evil Ernie #1 by Eternity Comics in December 1991. Lady Death then reappeared in the Evil Ernie: The Resurrection mini-series published by Pulido under his now defunct company Chaos! Comics in 1993. Avatar Press was the last publisher of the Lady Death series. The character was also the subject of a full-length animated feature film released in July 2004 by ADV Films.



Incarnations of the character have been illustrated by such comic book artists as Steven Hughes, Mike Deodato, Jr., Romano Molenaar and Ivan Reis. Brian Pulido still owns the Intellectual Property rights to his characters; having optioned publishing licensing through various independent companies, such as Avatar Press.



In addition, Lady Death has been depicted in artworks by a number of well-known fantasy artists such as Dorian Cleavenger, Gerald Brom, Boris Vallejo, Joe Jusko and Julie Bell.



Lady Death first originated as the sexy and violent villain that was perceived as a hallucination by the boy Ernest Fairchild. She promised to "love Ernie forever", love he never had, in exchange for his loyalty. That loyalty was to kill everyone on earth. In the beginning, she had no real purpose or personal story except to be the Eye-candy for Evil Ernie's comic book, and she was just seen as the evil sadistic woman who would always give Ernie the incentive to kill. As the story progressed, Lady Death detached herself as the girlfriend of Evil Ernie, and began her own story. With the change, her personality changed dramatically from the sexual villain to a full blown hero.



The setting for the original Lady Death comic was medieval Sweden. The woman who would become Lady Death was born as a mortal named Hope. Her father was a local nobleman named Matthias who was forcibly conscripting peasants into military service as feudal levies. The exact nature of the war that Matthias was prosecuting is not specified, although evidence from the recent revision of the character by Avatar Press suggests that it may have been one of the Northern Crusades (also known as the Baltic Crusades).



*Note: You can read more about her in Wikipedia and there are external links there.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lady_Death


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02:19 Jul 08 2009
Times Read: 1,182


I wonder what everyone is doing now??? Hey, cups hand over one ear...



Is that an echo I hear. I am not here to entertain I guess, lol. I just need to keep track of how many friends I have on one profile and how many on another and people keep leaving or unmaking me a friend. I really don't know which it is, in all actuality.



Hard to get to know people and if I am not talking to you it's just because there are so many even under 50. Can you do it and level up and post in your coven/house and be on long enough and I have 3 to deal with but I like being creative...keeps me out of trouble :)


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IN CASE THIS SONG POPS UP

04:54 Jul 07 2009
Times Read: 1,185


Here is the history of Dulaman for curious folks like myself who cannot understand the language, lol.





Dúlamán (Irish for channelled wrack, a type of edible seaweed), is an Irish folk song



There are two versions of the melody that come from the Irish folk song tradition. The first of these was first recorded by Clannad on their album Dúlamán. The second melody was first recorded by Altan on their album Island Angel). An original musical setting of the traditional text of this song for choir was also made by Irish composer Michael McGlynn.



The text of the song relates to the Irish practice of gathering seaweed for various purposes, dating from lean times when seaweed was valuable as a defense against famine. It details the discussion between "dúlamán Gaelach" (a collector of seaweed for dyeing clothes) and "dúlamán maorach" (a collector of seaweed to be cooked and eaten). The latter wishes to marry the daughter of the former, and makes various arguments and entreaties for this purpose, finally declaring that he will simply take her away. The traditional refrain of the song is:



Dúlamán na binne buí, dúlamán Gaelach

Dúlamán na farraige, b'fhearr a bhí in Éirinn



This translates as:



Seaweed from the yellow cliff, Irish seaweed

Seaweed from the ocean, it's the best in all of Ireland


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01:48 Jul 07 2009
Times Read: 1,195


You see, there are probably lots of people here, that don't like Celtic or pop music or any music that isn't hard and heavy but I have three profiles. I wanted to show another side. I like many different types of music so rather than put the same old things here, I decided to show the other styles of which I am interested. Just be glad I didn't put up Andrea Bocelli, lol. It's suppose to represent my interests and not other's interests. If we were doing that then the scoring should be totally different. IMHO



Just random thoughts ...


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CHANGE

15:30 Jul 06 2009
Times Read: 1,201


I have been changing graphics, colors and background. I have been a little annoyed that Ferril took the graphics off my site and I saw he came over again and took a look when I changed it. Luckily he didn't take anything as far as I can see. He had taken my avatar prior so I put up a new one. I am not satisfied with it yet so it will stay for a little while. I wanted a more colorful background than before but ultimately I will be changing it to blue in the future I think, lol.



I like purple but it was too monochromatic.


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01:17 Jul 06 2009
Times Read: 1,205


I added a few things to my profile. Trying not to make it too long. I wanted to put something in that was scifi and remotely Power punk oriented so I put in the girl who looks like a super heroine above protection stamps. Protection is the optimum word, lol. Thought she looked like one of those futuristic heroines that wear the suits that look like they are pasted on them. So that is the reason for all of that.


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15:06 Jul 05 2009
Times Read: 1,214


People interested in the vampyre community might want to peruse some of these things. I am not giving it a green light or anything like that. I am providing information and nothing more.





THE COLLECTIVE




The Collective is now on YouTube, MySpace, Metacafe and VampyreLounge!!

Check out our new interview with DeSade!



YouTube:

https://www.youtube.com/thecollectivevideos



MySpace:

http://www.myspace.com/thecollectivevideos

and

http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.channel&ch

annelid=482760461



Metacafe:

http://www.metacafe.com/channels/thecollectivevideos/

Please don't forget to turn the Family Filter to OFF. Option is located on the top center of the page.



And of course, our most recent videos can be seen at www.vampyrelounge.com



We need your support.

Please Pass the word, subscribe, friend add and send us your comments!

More videos will be up soon!



Do let us know if you or someone you know is interested in being featured. We are looking forward to zooming in on your perspectives!



Dark Embraces

Madame X of the Dreaming

www.houseofthedreaming.org

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15:04 Jul 05 2009
Times Read: 1,215


I get lots of announcements. I guess for anyone who wants something to do in Idaho this might be interesting. I cannot vouch for it but since I was doing an entertainment byline I get stuff like this all the time.



Wicked Wonderland invited you to:





The Mad Hatter's T Party



When:

Saturday, July 11, 2009

9:00 PM to 2:00 AM MDT



Where:

Terrapin Station

1509 Main St.

Boise, ID 83702



Come celebrate the Mad Hatter's Unbirthday with me- show the big guy some love!


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OK so this isn't a thought, lol

11:47 Jul 04 2009
Times Read: 1,224


"You Raise Me Up" is a popular song in the inspirational mould. The music was written by Secret Garden's Rolf Løvland and the lyrics by Brendan Graham. The song has now been covered more than 125 times.



The song was originally written as an instrumental piece and entitled "Silent Story". The melody is based on a traditional Irish tune (especially the opening phrase of its chorus), the Londonderry Air, which is best known as the usual tune to the 1910 song Danny Boy. Løvland approached Irish novelist and songwriter Brendan Graham to write the lyrics to his melody after reading Graham's novels. It was originally released on the 2002 Secret Garden album "Once in a Red Moon", with the vocals sung by Irish singer Brian Kennedy, and sold well in both Ireland and Norway.












Adding this. I have listened to this one which is good and I listened to Russell Watson sing it and it was ok. His voice isn't right for the song and I have heard Celtic Woman sing this song but I have to say out of all that I have heard and by no means every recording I think Josh Groban does the best job. He can transition the highs and lows better and his voice is more suited to the type of song. I have also heard him sing Music of the Night and thought it was awful, lol. It's about the only thing I have heard I didn't like by him...it doesn't suit his voice. Anyway here is his version.








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09:23 Jul 04 2009
Times Read: 1,226


I'm a Vampling now...it was all those grave robbers that did it. They led them right to me. I was just visiting a friend and they got me!!



I didn't get a good look but I hope it was ERIC.


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19:44 Jul 02 2009
Times Read: 1,231


Yes, I am of Irish descent but I am of other descents as well. I married someone whose father and sister were born there. One, his father, was born in Dublin and his sister was not born in the Republic but in Northern Ireland in Belfast. They left there while his Mother was pregnant with him for some reason and he was born in the US on the East coast. My Father's grandfather was born in Ireland and came to the US. I don't believe my Grandmother was born there or any of the children but I don't know really. What knowledge I have of them is sketchy beyond that. It was a large family of 14 children. Try to trace a name like George McLaughlin. It's near to impossible. I had some things written down and knew his wife's name too but I have moved numerous times and my papers are now gone.



My Dad said his father was English but I don't know much about him. Actually the way his name is spelled it can be Irish or German but you know people live all over the British Isles so he could have had an Irish name and been born in England. I doubt I will ever know.



I am also English and Dutch and German. I know some who married the Dutch line were German and I believe other things. The first of that line to come to the US moved to Germantown. There were several of those in the same area and not all of them were German. There were actually Dutch living there. Ultimately we don't know where my ggg etc etc grandfather really came from because he shipwrecked in the Netherlands and was given his name. I know my grandfather was very blond and my Grandmother said a very stubborn Dutchman. She was Norman/English.



My husband was actually only half Irish. His Mother was German and he has Uncles and cousins and the like living in Germany but he really doesn't know them. He got to know the Irish side and lived there a little over a year. He and I are no longer together and he went back to Northern Ireland.


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19:04 Jul 01 2009
Times Read: 1,244


I know a lot of people are trying to play it safe now that free members can see their last three ratings. I did that for a little while and it is a little stressful. I hate giving a high rate to people who have very little on their profiles. It isn't fair to those who spend a lot of time with backgrounds, writing and graphics. I don't blame anyone for loading time. What they put up shouldn't depend on my computer. I have only had a few times this was an issue and most of it has been due to changes in VR; it has gotten kinda slow in the load aspect and I am running into errors on the site keeping me from being about to do certain things I am not going into. How does one decide what is too long? I could cut down on some things I have. I don't like scroll boxes and don't use them but will use players to eliminate the space the graphics will take up, such as protection stamps. I don't know if that makes a difference in load time for someone but I would think hiding a lot of graphics in a box would only save, cosmetically, space on the profile. They are still there. Unfortunately we don't all have top line computers but dang...they shouldn't be obsolete because they are a couple of years old. I see people write these things. Upgrade with what you have if you have the money. I am feeling badly that we don't all have the same playing field.



Also I would prefer people under 18 not messaging or biting me. It is not that I have anything against people who are below legal age but being an older person it makes it sketchy to be conversing with someone who may be years younger and under age. I have no idea about what goes on in High School these days and have nothing in common other than maybe knowing what Twilight is, lol. Trust me, you will find me boring.


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